I’ve led a blessed life. Been married to the love of my life for going on 45 years. Nieces and nephews and their minions. American parents to our bonus French kids and their enfants. Fulfilling career. Saw the world. Relatives I wouldn’t trade. A lifetime of sweet abodes and now firmly entrenched in our Forever Home in God’s Country in North Cackalacky. Simple finances. Good health. A certain je ne sais quoi … an inner peace and joy.
Also high on my blessings list is the family I chose — my friends.
Many folks come and go in our lives. Let’s call them acquaintances. I’m generally pleased that these individuals came and went from my life. Many, I have enjoyed our interactions. Others, not so much. Still others, fleeting memories, if any at all.
Ah, but true friends! What a treasured find!
I’m referring to bona fide, often lifelong friends who, in my world, unequivocally qualify as family. These individuals have left footprints on my heart. They make me smile brighter, laugh louder, and live better. I’d like to think they feel the same about me.
To me, the most dedicated friends stand on equal footing with kin, serving as vital anchors for our lives and faith.
Perhaps it’s a bit egotistical, but the world would be a better place if there were more people like my friends.
True friendship means hanging in there, staying connected, and allowing yourself to receive support just as you offer it to others. It’s about not letting busy schedules, fatigue, distance, or time take over. It’s about soulmates who are the human embodiment of kindness and sunlight.
A true best friend is a deeply trusted, loyal, and supportive person who accepts you fully — flaws and all. They offer a non-judgmental space where you feel safe to be yourself. They are there for you in both good and bad times, providing honest encouragement and comfort. They maintain connection despite distance or life changes, showing empathy, respect, and unwavering presence.
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a bestie.
Numbers
For all the talk about the importance of a small circle of friends, I don’t consider my circle small. How’s that for a blessing?
Sure, I could cull out a special one whom I’d fight a bear for. A small, confused bear, but a bear nonetheless. Confidants. Alter egos. Bosom buddies. Kindred spirits. My very small, personal inner circle.
However, I have a dozen close friends, each of whom, in some manner, has touched my heart and made a beautiful impact on my life. I know that I could pick up the phone and call any one of them for advice, catch-up, or support, and vice versa.
With old friends — noting that at this point in my life, “old” has two meanings — you’ve got your whole life in common. I have buds (male and female) who go back to high school, more than half a century ago. I have confidantes from my career, and amazing mates who are relatives through marriage. I have heartfelt friendlationships that stem from my wife’s best friends and their families.
I don’t have much interest in compiling my family tree (ho-hum … ), but how about a friend tree? Now that would be a fun project! The roots would run deep, and the branches would be wide and strong. Like a majestic oak (metaphorically speaking), my personal friend tree would reflect the special family I have, showcasing the interconnectedness that has allowed us to grow in different directions while remaining closely bonded despite time and distance.
Nearness
True friends are never really apart — maybe in distance, but never in heart. Indeed, perhaps true friendship’s greatest gift is finding that you can evolve individually without drifting apart.
Certainly, time and proximity are hindrances to closeness, but they aren’t enemies of friendship, especially if effort is made to augment memories. It’s important to keep your friendships in constant repair and make a conscious effort to stay in each other’s lives — not out of obligation, but because you genuinely want to.
I have close friends who I haven’t seen in years, but we know the other is always there. When we get the chance to meet or have a catch-up call, we pick up as if we saw each other last week. I have a work friend who left my work circle more than 40 years ago, and though we’ve never seen each other since, we still exchange a note or two each year just to check in and remind each other of our importance in each other’s lives.
Cherishing the People Who Show Up
Long-lasting friendships can be amongst the most significant relationships in a person’s life. A true friend can broaden and deepen your understanding of yourself, your life, and your world.
I hope you are surrounded by a wide circle of friends, with a few cherished souls closest to your heart. We all deserve people who show up for us.
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Addendum from LSomerbyCooke …
This blog’s closing sentence was inspired by a wonderful song by Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors, an Americana band from Tennessee that also features Holcomb’s talented wife, Ellie. If you get a chance to catch them in concert, you’ll thank me for the recommendation. I encourage you to take three minutes to check out this video. Listen closely to the wise advice.
Muntaha
Hey Lee! I felt such a deep sense of gratitude in your bond with your friends and family. It’s truly wholesome and heartwarming. There’s something incredibly comforting about having people in your life who genuinely care about you. It brings a sense of peace, belonging, and contentment that nothing else can quite replace.
There’s no doubt that true and loyal friends are real lifesavers. They stand by you during your lowest moments, offer support when you feel lost, and give you the courage to keep going even when things get tough. They don’t just share your happiness; they help you carry your burdens and remind you of your strength when you forget it yourself.
What makes these connections even more beautiful is that distance never really weakens them. Even if you’re miles apart and don’t talk every day, the bond remains just as strong. And when you finally reconnect, it feels like no time has passed at all. You pick up right where you left off. Those carefree moments of laughter, random gossip, silly conversations, and heartfelt rants become timeless memories. They may seem small, but they hold so much meaning and warmth.
In the end, it’s these genuine connections that make life feel fuller, lighter, and more meaningful. Having people like that around you is truly a blessing, and it’s something to always be grateful for.
Stay blessed, Lee.
Frank Farley
It’s really hard to follow our great friend Mac, but my wife and I have been fortunate to have fallen in that 50 year lifelong category. From my point of view, there is no greater satisfaction in life as to have that special friend that has been there through thick and thin, good and bad. The one person you can call and spend time with as if it is still those days gone by. We are so glad to have been a part of the fantastic lives that you and Deb have contributed to ours. That bond can never be broken, not in this lifetime or the life to come. So proud to call you friend!
Reed Sprague
Thank you, Lee, for another thoughtful and meaningful post. We realize as we age that friends are rare treasures and are not to be taken for granted. One of the reasons I appreciate reading your blog is because you take nothing for granted. You’re always thankful, always grateful. When people get to be our age, they tend to release friends, or even push them away, and replace them with cynicism or even bitterness. It’s refreshing to know that you replace friends with exactly nothing. You keep the friend and reject the cynicism. That’s rare, Lee. God bless you & Deb!
Patty
Dearest Friend, another one out of the park. Thank you.
Peg Spellman
Love your insights, Lee. I appreciate you and being fortunate in having you and Deb in my life. Hugs!
Maria
Thank you for writing this inspiring blog. Sometimes you get caught up in daily life and reading this gives you a moment to reflect on all of those important people that have passed through your life during time here on earth. I really don’t keep in close contact with too many people, but I do think of them fondly and remember the good times. I thank God for my dear family and the friends that love me even with all of my flaws. I agree with Gary, the S is for Super!
Rick
I count you and your wife as pivotal people, who I’m so very thankful to have as part of my journey on this big blue marble whizzing around the galaxy. My chosen family is a crazy strange bunch of energy, with who in little small ways and giant hugs make me up. I so glad I get to count you in my blender of mystics.
Gary McCorkle
Friends. Like a person who hops on his vehicle to drive 8-10 hours to make sure he supports his friend whose mom’s funeral was being held. Like a person who calls to offer prayer and well wishes before the person who is scheduled to have a second knee replacement in less than a year. Like friends who compete to the “nth degree” be it Scrabble, wiffle ball, or sports trivia. Like two graying friends who both realize they were blessed with wives just right for them. Like friends who try to “1-up” the other by mailing each other mementos, parodies, and odd things that only each other would appreciate over and over again. Like my friend of over 56 years whose writings always inspire, entertain, uplifts, or challenges — and sometimes a combo — who I love unconditionally. Thank you, Lee S. Cooke, for your undying love and respect. And the S stands for Super!